Humor Real

1 June 2005

999 HIT BY SEX PESTS

EMERGENCY operators are quitting in disgust over perverts who dial 999 to talk dirty.

So far 12 staff have left East Midlands ambulance service which deals with 250 nuisance calls a week - with 83 from sex pests.

Police are hunting down the rogue callers.

Control room manager Paul Carlile said: "What you get over the phone is beyond belief.

"Staff are subjected to torrents of abuse. It's demoralising."

Nota: el 999 es el telefono de emergencias en Reino Unido (policia, ambulancia, bomberos)

[alberto_87]

y luego hay gente que en otros posts habla de que los españoles somos tal y somos cual pues , ¡vaya ejemplo de seriedad los british! ¿verdad?si señor...

4 June 2005

HAND GEL HANGOVER

BOOZY patients at a SECOND hospital have been caught drinking the alcohol hand gel used for tackling MRSA.

In February, the Mirror found patients at a Liverpool hospital getting legless on the handwash - which kills 99 per cent of the deadly germs.

Now patients at Leeds Infirmary have been helping themselves.

One man was said to have drunk so much he emptied every dispenser on his ward.

Nicked for not doing speed limit

WHEN SCOTLAND'S OLDEST driver realised his F-reg Fiat Punto's fan belt had broken, he decided nothing was going to stop him driving to a garage to get it fixed.

Even when steam started to pour from under the bonnet and Herbert Street had to slow to a snail's pace on a busy A-road, just so he could see ahead, the 96-year-old kept going.

The only problem was that there was so much steam the widower could not see very much - so he was blissfully unaware that he had failed to give way to a lorry at a roundabout.

Another driver saw the truck brake sharply to avoid the steaming Fiat and called police.

However, even when a patrol car overtook Mr Street and tried to make him stop, he kept on with his mission and mounted a grass verge to get past them, a court heard.

Police eventually persuaded him to stop, breath-tested him and impounded his car, which he calls Maggie Jane in memory of his wife. The retired coastguard, who has been driving for 81 years, now faces having his licence taken away after admitting driving carelessly and at an unnecessarily slow speed.

Mr Street, who lives in Kirtlebridge, Dumfriesshire, says he will fight to keep driving and insists he is not a careless driver.

'The police said I was driving to get away but it was just that I couldn't see very well because of all the steam coming out of the engine, and I wanted to be as safe as possible,' he said after the hearing.

'They reckon that I hit someone's car as well but I don't think I did. There would have been damage and I would have heard it.'

Dumfries Sheriff Kenneth Ross adjourned the case until June 29, when he will decide if Mr Street is still fit to drive.

Largest lolly flops

AN ATTEMPT TO erect the world's largest ice lolly in a New York park left the city in a sticky mess.

The 7.6m frozen Snapple treat melted faster than expected, flooding downtown Manhattan with a kiwi and strawberry flavour liquid.

The demise of the 17.5-ton ice treat sent pedestrians scurrying as firefighters closed off several streets and used hoses to wash away the sugary mess.


Snapple had been trying to promote a new line of frozen treats. However, the stunt was called off before the lolly was pulled fully upright.

A spokeswoman said Snapple was unlikely to make a second attempt at the record, set by a 6.4m ice treat in Holland in 1997. The giant ice block was supposed to have been able to withstand the heat for some time.

24 June 2005

JACKSON BEGGED TO BE SIR

From Ryan Parry In New York

MICHAEL Jackson spent a fortune harassing the Queen in a desperate bid to be knighted, it was revealed yesterday.

His bizarre quest is documented in an explosive new book by his former press chief Bob Jones.

He said: "We spent a fortune trying to communicate with the Queen's people to try to get them to make him a knight. They were not interested."

Jones, has lifted the lid on 34 years working for the eccentric singer in his book: Michael Jackson: The Man Behind the Mask.

The PR man, who was fired last year, also reveals Jackson is obsessed with Christ - even having a photo of The Last Supper above his bed - in which HE replaces Jesus.

Jones testified for the prosecution at Jackson's trial, when the star was found not guilty on all ten counts of child molestation. And his book describes Jackson as a manipulator with a "radar for wooing" young boys.

[mouthforwar]

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